sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
