dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
