I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
