Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Everything about him screamed your future.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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