Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
