im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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