I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
