I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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