Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
