they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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