please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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