i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
