he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
