I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
