I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You've changed since you got that strap on
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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