respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
