; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
the condom got lost in my hair
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
