I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You were trust falling into bushes
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
