Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
