I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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