Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
