Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I could make wine with my vomit
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
