like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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