the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
