If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
