You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
So much Jack, so little girl.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
