maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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