there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize