i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
