just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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