He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
