I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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