all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
