no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
