we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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