Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
