he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
