u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
