do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
