Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You need Xanax blowdarts
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
