i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
