all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
