drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
