Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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