Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
