Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
