I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
