Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
