You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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