does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
