then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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