i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
