I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
